Praying and Preparing

Even as I focus on the joy of having a daughter, decorate the nursery, shop for adorable baby girl clothes, dream of all the sweet times our family will share together, and groan at the wait, I know that the toughest days still lie ahead. 

There are the known challenges yet to come.  Bonding is not an easy process under any circumstances.  Isabella will be 6 - 8 months old when we bring her home.  Her world will crumble, as everything she knows is left behind.  She will feel as though she has been kidnapped by strangers. We will look, feel, smell, and sound so different than the special mothers she has grown to love.  Even her formula will taste different.  Her little heart will ache, even as we coax her to stop crying, to smile.  It may be months or years before she fully attaches to us.  Worse, she may be left with attachment disorder. 

This is not abstract theory.  We know families who have had these experiences, one family who even fears - yes, fears - their own pre-teen child.  Of course, we also know families who have endured immeasurable heartache as the result of the actions of their biological children; while the challenges and/or underlying causes may be different between adopted and biological children, no child comes with a Risk-Free Guarantee.  (Might be a business opportunity here though:  Get your child's 12-month Extended Warranty for just $99.99. Order in the next three minutes and we'll throw in anti-tantrum and auto-potty-training tablets for FREE!)

Attachment goes two ways.  We are in love with what we imagine Isabella to be like, with the smiling baby girl in the photos, but when we hold her in our arms, she will be a stranger.  We will be thrown back into sleepless nights, and sleep deprivation wreaks havoc with one's emotional and mental state.  Post-adoption depression is a real risk.  We love her now, my heart aches for her as I type this, but I know that our experience the first days, weeks, and months after we bring her home may still be very tough.

Then there are the unknown challenges.  Many developmental delays and health risks cannot be identified at this young age.  We may be faced with other challenges we cannot begin to imagine. 

We have done everything that we can to prepare, but the risks are still there and our ability to comprehend the impact certain challenges may have on our family is limited. The only thing that we know for certain is that His grace is sufficient, His plan without flaws. While we do our best to prepare for tomorrow as we are led, we do not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34).

In the meantime...  Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness; come before His presence with singing.  Know ye that the Lord, He is God, it is He that hath made us and not we ourselves. We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth to all generations.  Psalm 100

Rejoicing indeed!