Additional Referral Information

Earlier today, a surprise phone call from our Case Manager reminded me yet again how easy it is to think and say/type the right thing, but how much tougher it is to live it when push comes to shove. Remember what I wrote about praying and preparing, and all of the unknown risks? (That's okay, I had to scroll down and re-read it too!) Well, here we go...

AGCI has stressed that they share all new information that they get, significant or insignificant, and leave it to our discretion to consult with our international pediatrician and determine whether we want to proceed. 

The Additional Referral Information that we received today is likely benign.  If Matthew had exhibited similar symptoms, we would not have thought that much about it, much less mentioned it to our family doctor.  In contrast, Isabella's symptoms have been reviewed by a doctor in Ethiopia (who was not concerned),  and we have sent the new information to our international pediatrician for further review. 

I am convinced that we will be told what we already know:  the symptoms are probably nothing to be concerned about, just something a lot of babies experience, but they may be indicative of a significant health issue that will materialize as she grows older.  The symptoms are a tiny red flag in the distance, one that we will interpret in hindsight.

Hearing Julie say "issue" immediately had my heart pounding and my blood pressure up.  The comfort and hope that I have on an intellectual level were tested by the emotions of the moment. 

I'm not sure even now exactly what Julie said - "medical issue" or "potential issue," or maybe just "I have additional information?" it's funny how you focus on your biggest fear.  Eyewitness identification is incredibly unreliable because in the stress of the moment, people focus on the weapon. Well, that was me when I got this call!

While I am convinced that this is what we are supposed to be doing, that our daughter is in Ethiopia and that we will bring her home soon (joy!), I also realize that the road that we are on may not lead where we want it to, or it may have detours and bumps along the way.  That scares me, I'll admit, some days more than others.

We will continue in prayer, as sobering as the unknown and uncertain may be at times.  Everyone who welcomes a child into their family, whether by birth or adoption, accepts risk, whether they realize it or not!

And so it is that I end the day praying with one of my favorite verses in mind: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6