Setting Out Again

We have been thinking and praying about continuing to grow our family. After considering domestic and international programs, we decided to follow our hearts once again to Ethiopia.

In an effort to balance our privacy while sharing information with those who are interested in our family and Ethiopia adoption, we are limiting distribution of our new blog address. Please email us at adoptiveparent@live.com if you would like access.

The End (of this part of the story, anyways!)

On July 7, 2009, we were officially accepted by AGCI into their Ethiopia adoption program.  Hundreds of pages of paperwork, months of waiting, many highs and lows, and two trips to Ethiopia later, our precious daughter is in our arms forever.

This blog was started as a record of our journey "to welcome our daughter home."  That part of our story is complete:  Isabella's adoption is final by law, and her place in our family is confirmed by God's grace.

We will memorialize this piece of family history in a blog book, as we look forward to our family's future.  We have many hopes and dreams for Isabella.  Most of all, we pray that she will grow into a Godly young woman, strong in faith and rich in love. 

As we bring this blog to an end, we want to especially thank you for following our story, sharing our joy, and lifting our challenges up in prayer.  May the Lord bless you and keep you; may He make His face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you; may He lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.  (Numbers 6:24-26)  Amen. 

Milestones

The past few weeks have been full of firsts:

Isabella cut her first tooth in April.  She now has five teeth, and loves eating just about everything. 

In June, she charmed Grandpa and Oma in person for the first time:

She opened her first (early) birthday presents:

She enjoyed her first trip to the coast:

She went to her first wedding:

She had her first professional photographs taken:

Isabella's first birthday reminded us how fast our little girl is growing up.

At her one-year well-baby checkup, we learned that she is now in the 40th percentile for height and the 50th percentile for weight.  What a difference a few months can make!

Another first in June:  Isabella stayed with Grandma -- her first babysitter -- while we went out for dinner for our 13th wedding anniversary. What a difference 13 years can make, too! :) 

Finally... here is our family's newest U.S. citizen (yes, her citizenship certificate finally arrived!), enjoying her first 4th of July celebration:

May God continue to bless our country and all of His people who call it home!

Cuteness

Matthew knocks the crackers out of the cupboard.  The sound of the salty yumminess hitting the floor is like a starting gun for Isabella.  Before I realize what is happening, she fast-crawls across the room and has a handful in her mouth!  What's a mom to do at this point except grab the camera...?

My Heart is Full

I love these two little stinkers with all of my heart! 

Celebrating Death or Rejoicing in Justice

I have been pondering the range of responses to ObL's death, and have concluded that there is a very fine yet important distinction between celebrating the death of ObL, and rejoicing in the justice of ObL's death.  I think John Piper does a good job examining the entire spectrum of God’s response vis-a-vis His word.  

Love and forgiveness are individual mandates that do not negate God's commands to seek justice.  One should love every person and forgive every enemy, while still advocating that the state (aka government), with the authority given to it by God, administer justice (Romans 13:4).   If love and justice are mutually exclusive, as some seem to be suggesting in the aftermath of ObL, every Christian should seek to abolish criminal arrests and prosecutions.  God forbid! God himself is the epitome of love, forgiveness and justice: loving us, he sent his son to die in our place, that our sins might be forgiven and final, eternal justice administered. 

Justice on earth encompasses positive as well as negative consequences independent of the state of one's salvation or the love and forgiveness of one's victim.  It is just for a murderer, whether Christian or non-Christian, to be put to death (Numbers 35:31) and it is just for a widow, whether Christian or non-Christian, to be defended (Isaiah 1:17).  Final, eternal justice, however, is exclusively positive for the believer, and exclusively negative for the unbeliever (John 3:36), regardless of his earthly sins or good works (Ephesians 2).

God never takes pleasure in death (Ezekiel 18:23), but He does take pleasure in justice, including justice fulfilled by death (Deuteronomy 28:63 is one of many verses stating this fact).  Who are we to condemn this response?  Who are we, who strive to live in His image, to do less?  Justice, with all of its consequences, even death, is joy to a righteous man (Proverbs 21:15, Proverbs 11:10).   The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth vengeance (Psalm 58:10).  I fear that when we cease rejoicing in justice, we further injustice, for there is no neutrality on the issue (consider i.e. Matthew 12:30, Revelations 3:14). 

My conclusion?  Celebrating the victory in war is not celebrating war.  Celebrating the justice in death is not celebrating death.  The circumstances of ObL’s death were either just, to be celebrated, or unjust, to be denounced.  I am sickened by those who sinfully delight in the crude particulars of ObL's death, in death itself, but at the same time I acknowledge and take Godly joy in the justice of his death.   To paraphrase Revelations 18:20, "Rejoice over him, oh righteous ones, for God has given judgment for you against him!"

I encourage each of you, my three blog readers, to prayerfully consider whether you will do the same.  Whatever response you choose to have, may your decision be made in supplication to His word. 

Just another Soapbox Monologue brought to you by a fallible, sinful and depraved person who by God's grace is also a forgiven and justified saint. 

First Easter

What a wonderful day to celebrate with Isabella!  She was unimpressed with her Easter basket and spent most of her time at church flirting with the people around us and playing the "I drop it, you pick it up, I drop it again!" game with a young man sitting behind us.  After the service, we were told that Isabella charmed about 14 people sitting in the rows behind us.  We loved every moment.

Permanent Resident Card

So remember that Irksome Immigration Notice? Well, we never received a response to our request to reschedule Isabella's biometrics appointment.  I was starting to get a little nervous given that the Notice said that missing the appointment would result in cancellation of her immigration application. Of course the longer I waited, the more I dreaded calling to check. 

We submitted Isabella's application for citizenship two weeks ago, which probably prompted USCIS to look at her file.  Voila!  We received the Welcome Notice last week. THIS is the Notice that we expected to receive in January, instead of the Irksome Notice. I guess USCIS realized that they did have all of the information and photos that they needed after all. 

Today we received Isabella's Permanent Resident card with her orphanage intake photo on it.  She was so very tiny!  What a difference a few months of love and care can make.  It seems a little silly to get the P.R. card now though: we expect to receive her Certificate of Citizenship soon, along with a request to return the P.R. card!  I guess it will be helpful if she finds a job in the meantime... 

Which brings me to my favorite part of the packet, the Welcome to the United States - A Guide for New Immigrants brochure.  Jon started reading it to Isabella:  finding a place to live, getting a job, getting involved in the community...  all great ideas, I am sure she will get right on that.

Ethiopian Adoptions Stakeholders Conference Call Transcript

If I figure out why I am typing up a sad transcript of the call at 2 a.m. Saturday morning, with no reasonable explanation for my sudden obsession, I will let you know.  It started out as an effort to verify that I got the quotes in my earlier post correct, and snowballed from there.  Oops.

Ethiopia Adoption Program Update

Today, USCIS hosted a conference call for Ethiopian Adoptions Stakeholders.  As I listened to this call and reviewed the corresponding slides, I was (surprisingly) encouraged.

MY NOTES:
Except for italicized text, this information consists entirely of direct quotes and paraphrases of statements made by USCIS and State Department speakers.

Ethiopia's adoption program "is a good one, with problems."

USCIS confirmed that most files that it reviews relate to children who legitimately meet the definition of orphan. "At the end of the day, USCIS does think the children are orphans," but how the case has been documented may be deficient, which makes it difficult to identify potential fraud (with emphasis by the speaker on "potential"). Most cases reviewed by USCIS are approved.

• "The program overall is a good program . . . we feel like there is a solid baseline of cases. We thought that was a very positive aspect of [the Ethiopia adoption] program."
• "We didn't find that the program is broken, we found that the program is a good one, with problems. Serious problems...that need to be aggressively pursued."
• "We want to protect and preserve what is good about the program."
• "What are the problems, how can we get at them, and how can we fix them? . . . That's our goal."
• "Every adoption should be held to the highest of standards."
• "We are trying to avoid a blanket approach to the program, like "the whole thing is a mess.""
• "There are individual horror stories . . . There are a lot of wonderful stories. . . . We think that this kind of analysis, this kind of approach, gives us a different way of approaching concerns that are real."
• "We don't want children to languish in institutions but we want adoption to be honest and ethical."
• USCIS is seeking to support Ethiopia not only in its processing of adoption cases, but in finding better ways to assist the 5 million vulnerable children in Ethiopia through programs like foster care and school feedings.
• 90% of cases are processed by Hague-accredited agencies. "We think that it is generally a good idea to use Hague-accredited agencies. . . . [Ethiopia] has said that they are working towards Hague." There is only one agency processing a significant number of cases that is not Hague-accredited. [note: I think this reference is to Celebrate Children International]

The proposed USCIS pre-aproval process "is procedurally possible and desirable."

Currently, when a case is presented to USCIS, the adoption is already final under Ethiopian law: if USCIS does not approve a case, the child is unadoptable and goes back on the street. In a pre-approval process, after a referral (when a family is matched with a child), the prospective adoptive parents would present USCIS with information about the child. This would give USCIS an opportunity to complete the I-600 investigation to determine whether the child meets the definition of orphan under U.S. law, before the parents travel for court, the adoption is final under Ethiopian law, and parents are bonded with the child. The system in Ethiopia lends itself to a USCIS pre-approval process (not all systems do). “This initiative is incredibly positive and will help us… look at the good cases, [and] put the bad cases aside.” [note: towards the end of the Q&A, the suggestion was made, I think by John from the State Department, that eventually USCIS pre-approval may lead to families traveling only once, to attend court and receive the child's U.S. Visa to return home on the same trip, provided Ethiopia continues to process the Ethiopian birth certificate and passport within 1 - 2 weeks of the adoption being finalized by the court. This would procedurally be very similar to the process that already occurs in Hague countries like China.  This suggestion may be overly optimistic, but at the same time it does illustrate how the current challenges may result in a more timely system, which is better for children and families alike.]

The new baseline analysis will help USCIS identify potential problems and focus its investigations.

USCIS analyzed the 4,000 adoptions from Ethipia completed by U.S. families over the past 21 months to create baseline information against which individual cases and agencies may be compared going forward.  "Because 2/3rds of [Ethiopia] adoptions are relinquishments, it makes it feasible… to do the analysis that has been done. [Ethiopia] presented a really good [opportunity] to do this kind of analysis, to try to figure out the norms.”

MOWA's review and investigation process needs to be improved.

Everyone working in Ethiopia (government agencies and non-government organizations alike) has been telling Ethiopia that its adoption review processes are deficient. MOWA had one person reviewing all of the adoption files, as many as 50 files a day. The goal of USCIS is 100% ethical cases. The government of Ethiopia realized that it could not support that goal with its current staffing and case load. At the same time, the international community has offered Ethiopia technical assistance and training support to improve its infrastructure and capacity.

MOWA is slowing its review of adoption files by 90%, but this slowdown should be temporary because the international community has offered support.

USCIS learned last week that cases presented to Court before March 8 will be processed by MOWA expeditiously, probably at the same rate as before. Any cases presented after March 8 will receive more scrutiny; MOWA file review will decline to 5 files/day when they begin to process post-March 8 cases.

The government of Ethiopia is putting together a plan of what it will take for it to review files thoroughly and timely.  When it presents this plan, the U.S. and other countries will have an opportunity to fund particular needs.  [note: the implication was that this will result in MOWA having the resources that it needs - i.e. more than one person reviewing cases! - to improve the adoption program in all respects, including processing time.]

MY CONCLUSIONS:

1. There are many vulnerable children in Ethiopia for whom foreign adoption is the best available option.

2. The vast majority of adoptions by U.S. parents are ethical. Because of current deficiencies in documentation and review, however, it is difficult to identify and address the few but very real problem cases.

3. Ethiopia's adoption program will remain open for the foreseeable future. There will be an initial, drastic slowdown in case processing as Ethiopia improves its adoption program, but this slowdown will only be temporary, until the international community can provide (technical and financial) support.

4. The long-term goal of all stakeholders is a highly honest, ethical, and transparent Ethiopian adoption program that timely processes adoption cases in the best interests of the children.

5. For the sake of their families, the children who will be adopted, and the children will will continue to wait, adoptive parents must take more responsibility for making sure that their adoption service providers are doing their diligence and acting honestly, ethically, and transparently in facilitating adoptions.

• Educate yourself. Be aware of potential problems in a country's adoption program, as well as potential problems with particular agencies.
• Choose a reputable agency. Carefully review the wealth of information provided by USCIS, the State Department, and COA. Is the agency Hague-accredited and/or COA-accredited? If not, why not? What do other adoptive parents think about the agency?
• Ask questions. Ask the agency to provide information regarding the adoptions that it processes, and compare this information to the USCIS baseline information. Are there anomalies? Can the agency adequately explain these red flags? Be particularly cautious if an agency is defensive or reluctant to share information.
• Act responsibily.  The rules are in place to protect vulnerable children and well-intentioned families.  Do not ask your agency to bend the rules for you, and do not look the other way if you see your agency cutting corners.  An agency like this not only puts the entire Ethiopian adoption program at risk, but will taint your adoption forever. 

Adoption is worth doing, and it is worth doing right.

P.S.

As an end-of-the-day postscript, our agency just shared a lengthy statement with its families.  Their conclusion says it best: 

Of course, at this time there are still many details about how adoptions will be processed in Ethiopia for us to uncover in the days, weeks, and months ahead. In closing though, we were encouraged to be a part of a unique call today that continued to echo this spirit of collaboration. Truly, to hear the U.S. government in support of adoptions and to see their desire for action is great! Our prayer today is that these things will be well received by the government of Ethiopia and that we can work together to see changes implemented that better the adoption process and allow children the chance to be united with their forever families.

Decree of Adoption

OF COURSE the morning of our readoption hearing WOULD be the only morning all season that the power is out.  No power, no water, because we are on a well.  So... no baths for the kids, and even worse, no washing/styling of the hair for me (scary!).  Laughing because I couldn't believe how bad our timing always seems to be, I smeared my makeup on in the dark by flashlight.  Ai yi yi!  Still, we had to have photos of the occasion.  Be glad they haven't figured out an app to add scent to post...

Here we are waiting to be called into the Judge's chamber for our hearing:

Judge Brian Altman signed the Decree:

and finally, we took post-Decree photos of our beautiful girl:

We even managed to take a passable "passport photo" ourselves:

and with that, the Application for Citizenship is in the mail!

Readoption Filed

We received our 3-month Post-Placement Report on Saturday and filed it with our Petition for Adoption today. Everything went well thanks to WashingtonReadoption.blogspot.com and those who have been through the process and commented before us.  It only took about 15 minutes to file and get on the docket for this Thursday morning.  By the end of the week, we will have our Decree of Adoption and Isabella's application for citizenship will be in the mail.  We will be celebrating the newest U.S. citizen very soon! 

I am still a little jealous of everyone whose children come home as citizens because both parents attended the court hearing, but I am also glad that Jon was able to go on the homecoming trip.  If I had to choose between trips, the second trip is by far the most important to do together.  Those first few days with Isabella were precious.  The citizenship application is just more paperwork, and we are certainly used to that by now!

Adoption, Charity, and Orphan Care

Since bringing Isabella home, we have heard the inevitable comments about how good we are to have adopted. Rubbish!  Adoption is many things to our family, including love and joy, but it is not charity, and it is not orphan care.  Adoption itself is good -- good for parents, good for children, good for families -- but it is not doing good in the sense of charity, which (I think!) is an important distinction.  Let me try to explain...

Adoption is not charity.  If we were adopting in an effort to be charitable, we would not have been adopting in the true sense of the word.  Adoption made Isabella our own, every bit as much as if she were born to us.  We would go to the ends of the earth to bring Matthew home, just as we went to Ethiopia to bring Isabella home. We did not go out of charity, we went because we loved her and she is our daughter.

If we had thought that we were acting charitably by adopting, we would have set our family up for some tough struggles. First, as we considered the parameters to set on our adoption:  if we were adopting out of charity, then of course adopting an older or special needs child is more charitable than adopting a healthy infant, and we might have felt pressured to do so to self-righteously increase the charitableness of our act, despite God's calling. Second, as we tried to reconcile conflicting concepts: having a child in our home as an act of charity, yet having that child be wholly our own, equal in every respect to our biological children.  God may call us to adopt a waiting child, but it will be because that child is meant for our family, not because God wants us to be charitable.

Christ was both the begotten son of God, as well as the adopted son of Joseph.  The ultimate example of adoption, of course, is God's adoption of us: I am His adopted daughter, and He loved me so much that he sent his begotten son to die for me! John 3:16.  There is no greater love than this.  John 15:13. 
 
Another example that may make this point of view easier to understand:  food.  It is my responsibility to feed my family, and I take pleasure in doing so.  If I love you, I feed you.  If I love you a lot, I feed you pie, just ask any of my friends and family! Of all the time that I have spent in the grocery store, not once has someone patted me on the back and said "oh, you are so good to be buying food!" 

Which leads me to my next point...

Supporting another family's adoption IS charitable. Let's go back to the food analogy, because it is easy to understand and, I'll admit it, I like food.  If I help another family buy groceries, I am acting charitably. In Leviticus 19:10:  growing crops for yourself is not charitable, but permitting the needy to glean is charitable.

If God calls you to adopt, He will provide the means to do so, which may include having you accept support from others.  As Christians, we are to share our needs with one another, and support one another in times of need.  Accepting help is often tougher than providing help; there is a time for both.  In 2 Corinthians, the Macedonians begged for the privilege of helping.  See also Galatians 6:2, Galatians 6:5, Luke 3:11. 

Adoption is not orphan care.  Isabella is our daughter, she is not an orphan, so caring for her cannot count as orphan care.  Adoption is good and right, it is a way that God chose to grow our family, and it is a way that God reduces the number of orphans who need care.  Adoption meets the needs of one family and one child, blessing both by bringing them together.  Adoption does not solve the orphan crisis.  Of the over 160 million children in the world who have lost at least one parent, only a fraction are eligible for adoption:  most are living with their surviving parent or extended family, but all are vulnerable and need our prayer and support.  See e.g. Statistics post and this post by Tom Davis. 

The call to care for widows and orphans. We answer this call not by adopting, but through our prayers, personal acts of charity, and support of widow and orphan care ministries.  Our favorites include All Gods Children International, which in 2010 served 60 children and families through their family sponsorship and outreach programs for every one adoption that they completed, and Wiphan Care Ministries, which sponsors schools for orphaned and vulnerable children as well as training programs for widows in Zambia.  Give as God leads: whether He has given you a heart for orphans in Africa or the poor in your city, give accordingly, cheerfully (2 Corinthians 9:7) and sacrificially (2 Corinthians 8:2), for whosoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully (2 Corinthians 9:6).

Not everyone is called to adopt, but if you are... You are blessed among families!

Notes:

Guidestar is a free resource that is helpful in determining whether a charity is using resources wisely. Search for an organization by name and select its last IRS Form 990 filing to review its administration and other overhead expenses, including salaries.  Are they reasonable or wasteful? Will they be a good steward with that which is entrusted to them? 

As for food... did you know that "faith" is used less than three hundred times in the Bible, but the verb "to eat" apears more than 800 times?  "In the Old and New Testaments, worship does not revolve around esoteric discussion of philosophy or ascetic ritual enactments, but around a family meal." Bless This Food, 1996.  Taste and see that the Lord is good.  Psalm 34:8.

9 months old, 10 weeks home!