Setting Out

OUR JOURNEY BEGAN LONG BEFORE TODAY.

Adoption has always been part of our family plan. Jon’s mother was adopted domestically, Angela’s brother was adopted from Vietnam, and Jon’s parents adopted a cousin who became his sister. When we first met, Angela was writing her law school analytical paper on adoption law in China.

Because adoption played such a prominent role in each of our families, we naturally discussed growing our own family through adoption. When we wed in 1998, our plan, God-willing, was to have up to two biological children, followed by (one or more) adopted children. Initially, we thought we would start our family "in five years." Five years came...and went…and then several more years…

WHY NOW?

Call it Murphy's Law or God's Sense of Humor: after being (very!) surprised by Matthew's arrival in 2006, we have been unsuccessful in our purposeful attempts to add a second child to our family by conventional means. After 15 months of being told "no,” we finally got the hint: our second child will be "Sent From Heaven...By Way of Ethiopia!"

WHY INTERNATIONAL?

Available Care. In the U.S., most children are well cared for in family homes (permanent or foster). Over 2/3rds of all infant adoptions in the U.S. are domestic; healthy domestic infants are easily placed in good homes. Institutional orphanages, which are harmful to a child’s development even if they provide a safe and otherwise nourishing environment, are nearly non-existent in the U.S., and young children living on the street are generally accompanied by their primary caregiver. This is often not the case in third-world countries, where over 70% of orphaned and abandoned children are in institutional care facilities (aka orphanages) prior to being adopted. http://www.aspe.hhs.gov/

Other Factors. Domestic adoptions are increasingly "open," sometimes by law, other times by agreement. We are personally uncomfortable with open adoptions, although we have spoken with many adoptive parents who have had good experiences with them. In a domestic private adoption, we are also uncomfortable with competing with other prospective adoptive parents to have a stranger/birth mother choose us. Do we look good enough on paper? Are we being truthful, or presenting an idealized view of ourselves? Are we offering to pay too little, or too much, of her expenses? Is she selecting us for the right reasons? In a domestic foster care adoption, we are uncomfortable with the reasons that a child may have been removed involuntarily from his/her home: if the reasons are not severe, we would not approve of the removal, but if the reasons are severe, the child may have ongoing challenges to overcome as a result.

After a lot of thought, we have concluded that there is no right or wrong choice when it comes to adoption, just the right choice for our family. If you are led to adopt, adopt! Adopt an infant. Adopt a teenager. Adopt a healthy child. Adopt a child with special needs. Adopt a single child. Adopt siblings. Adopt domestically. Adopt internationally. Adopt with love in your heart, making the best choices that you can in prayer, and recognizing that the result - like everything else in life - may be unpredictable and unprecedented.

WHY ETHIOPIA?

Ethiopia has a rich Christian heritage. Fascinating tidbits:

- Ethiopia is the oldest independent country in Africa and one of the oldest countries in the world (over 2,000 years).

- The three colors of its flag, adopted in the late 1800’s, have been copied so much by other countries that they have become known as the Pan-African colors.

- The coffee bean, adored by my husband along with tens of millions of other coffee addicts-aka-connoisseurs, originated in Ethiopia. With its rich soil, Ethiopia continues to be the top coffee producing country in Africa.

- The country’s diverse terrain includes breathtaking waterfalls, some of the highest mountains in Africa (4,500 meters), and one of the hottest places on earth (Dallol). It also has the distinction of having the most UNESCO World Heritage Sites in Africa.3

- There are various accounts of a romantic relationship between King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba, whose kingdom included what is now Ethiopia. Some believe the Song of Solomon refers to their relationship; the imperial family of Ethiopia is thought to be descendants of Solomon and the Queen of Sheba.

- The Ethiopian Empire was founded by Menelik I, said to be the son of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba.8

- There is credible evidence that the Ark of the Covenant is in Ethiopia.

Ethiopia is in the midst of ongoing crises. Poverty, political conditions, and disease continue to increase the number of lost children within the country, while challenging the resources that are available to care for them.

- 94% of births do not have a skilled attendant present; 4% of women will die in childbirth.2

- The infant mortality rate is still nearly 7%.2 Of the children who survive birth, another 1 in 16 will die before their 5th birthday.2

- The total mortality rate 0(birth)- 5 years old is over 12%.2,4

- Nearly 5 million children are orphans.2 Child (5 - 14 years) labor is over 50%, as is child marriage.2

- 40% of children under 5 are moderately to severely underweight, and 50% are moderately to severely stunted.2

- Only 45% of children attend primary school2, and nearly 60% of the population is illiterate.1

- The GDP is less than $900/year/person.1

- Nearly 40% of the population is below the poverty line, living on less than $1.25/day.2

- 70% of children adopted internationally were previously living in institutional group homes (aka orphanages).6

[more stats posted July 2010 under "Different Kinds of Numbers"]

Ethiopia values children as much as we do. Some countries place political considerations ahead of their children, imposing exceptionally restrictive requirements and extended processing times on international adoption, while the children wait. Other countries place little or no requirements on adoption, at times making adoption appear to be state-sanctioned child trafficking. Ethiopia, in contrast, has reasonable requirements and timelines, consistent with the Hague Adoption Convention, that place the welfare of the children first and foremost.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, our hearts are drawn to Ethiopia. 


GOD LEADS, WE FOLLOW.

August 2008. We sat down at the computer and began researching international adoption. Country conditions, stability, predictability, financial considerations, travel requirements, timelines, and other factors all led us to place Ethiopia at the top of our list of preferred countries, with no other country remotely close. On August 27, 2008, we E-mailed our country selection and initial questions to another adoptive parent for additional guidance and insight, and began to look at a calendar and discuss timing.

September 17, 2008. Angela received a telephone call from our good friend and nearest neighbor, Cheri. (Angela and Cheri had never discussed adoption.) Cheri was calling to share the news that God had recently and unexpectedly led them to seek to adopt a daughter from Ethiopia. Through tears and “OH MY GOSH!” screamed repeatedly over the phone, Angela shared our “baby steps” in the same direction. Cheri and Angela marveled at the awesomeness of His plan, to have two little girls from the other side of the world bless our families next door to each other in this tiny rural community. We often wait for God to speak, but how often does He resolve any doubts with… a phone call?

The Rogers Family:

September 18, 2008. We joined Bob and Cheri at an international adoption information session at All God’s Children International in Portland, Oregon. We had so much to talk about and share at Red Robin afterwards!

September - June. As we researched other agencies and programs, AGCI stood out as being the right agency for us: ethical, Christian, local, recommended by people we trust, experienced, right-sized, and focused on uniting families while caring for the children who wait.

A MILESTONE: June 12, 2009.

Today, we dropped our AGCI Adoption Application in the mail. We are now expecting a child with an uncertain due date. We think “It’s A Girl!” Whatever the outcome, we are confident that this is God's plan for our family.

PLEASE PRAY for us, for our daughter, for her biological family, for Ethiopia, and for all of the parents and children who are searching for each other.
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(1)Central Intelligence Agency - The World Factbook
(2)UNICEF
(3)Wikipedia.com, Ethiopia, citing various sources
(4)World Health Organization
(5)U.S. Department of State Office of Children’s Issues
(6)National Survey of Children’s Health
(7)Based on resources cited by the Child Welfare Information Gateway
(8)www.worldvision.org/content.nsf/learn/world-vision-ethiopia